Am I with the right person?

~ Akshay ~ Leave a comment

I was searching my email for something when I came across this article. This was sent to me in 2009. Just thought it would be an interesting. Unfortunately, I am do not have the details of the author who has written this.

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?” The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind replied the author.
Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle…In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m
not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for
relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!!

Encounter with traffic police

~ Akshay ~ Leave a comment

Last Saturday while I was at my MBA classes, I had parked my bike outside the college gate as there was no parking allowed in the college premises due to some construction work. I have been attending the classes since last 3 weeks before this past Saturday and during the 1st week itself I had asked the security guard whether it is safe to park outside the gate and he said there shouldn’t be any problem. So as usual, last Saturday I parked outside my college gates at my designated spot. My friend also parked outside the gate but on the right side of the gate, while I was parked on the left.

So our lectures are going on and all of the sudden the professor gets a call from the college admin authorities saying that the police towing vehicle is here and they are towing vehicles parked outside the gate. As soon as we got to know this, we all ran down to the gate to check on our bikes, cars etc. In the mean time it had started to rain heavily. I came outside the gate and saw that my bike was parked where I had left it and it wasn’t towed, while my friend was not so lucky and his new Royal Enfield got towed away. We asked the security guard where they had taken my friends bike and he said that they have just left like 5 mins back and we should be able to see them on the main road. Since my bike was still there, we decided to give chase to the towing vehicle. By this time, it was pouring cats and dogs and we were totally drenched. After riding the bike in the direction pointed by the security guard, we saw the towing vehicle on the road. We chased the vehicle, overtook it and parked it right in front of the towing truck.

With the rain pouring very heavily, the traffic was already very slow moving and with me parking right in front of the towing truck and not allowing it go any further, traffic started piling on the road. While I waited on the bike, my friend went to negotiate with the traffic cop and requested him to hand over the bike to us. At first he refused and asked us to come to the police station and take the bike from there. But my friend not relenting and the vehicles honking from behind probably made him change his mind. He asked us to move a little ahead so he could park on the side and give us the bike. After parking the towing truck on the side, we were asked to pay a fine – which we duly paid and he handed over the bike to us.  We took the bike and brought it back to the college.

The scenes at the college was chaotic at the best. There were many students and professors who had got their vehicles and were scrambling to find a parking spot and wanted to park in the college premises. Some of them even went and met the principle of the institution, but she didn’t give the permission to park the vehicles in the college campus.  In the meanwhile, another towing truck passed by and we stopped the truck and asked the traffic inspector to tell us where do we park. He told us simply to look at the parking board. He said you were parked in the no parking zone and hence your vehicles got towed away. He asked us to park on the opposite side of the road where we could park without having to worry about our vehicles getting towed away.

We parked on the opposite side of the road, but kept checking our bikes every 2 hours just to ensure that it is still there and not towed away. Least to say it was a very interesting Saturday.

 

Parking on the road

~ Akshay ~ Leave a comment

Everyday while I returning from work, I pass through a 2 lane road. The best part of the road is it is entirely covered with trees. However, the sad part is cars are parked on both sides of the lane reducing the 2 lane road into 1 lane. Thus forcing vehicles traveling from both the directions to use the same lane. I am not sure if any accidents have occurred on that road but am pretty sure an accident is waiting to happen on that road esp. at night where people think of their vehicles are ferrari and drive fast.

The cause of this problem is with incomes rising faster, a lot of people have multiple cars in their households, however just one parking slot resulting in the cars being parked outside on the road. The other rule which most societies follow nowadays is visitors parking is not allowed in the society compound. This also results in people parking their vehicles on the road during the day time or in the evening during the weekends.

I think the traffic police should enforce the towing rules strictly. Currently there is hardly any impact of the vehicles being impounded. Also BMC should pass a rule which overrules the society rules and allows visitors parking in the society. This should be esp. applicable for the buildings which are on the main road. The last idea is a bit radical, the government should put restrictions on buying the 2nd car i.e if there is already a car in the household, the 2nd car should be taxed much higher. This will ensure that people think twice before buying a 2nd car. This will also help the environment as there would be less pollution, making this city a better place to live.

Death of an ex-colleague

~ Akshay ~ Leave a comment

2 days ago, while going through status updates on Facebook, I read an update from a friend who shared the news of an ex-colleague, lets call him S, who had passed away. The news was very shocking for me. I inquired with my friend for the details of the tragedy. S had jaundice a couple of weeks ago and he suffered a relapse of the same. My friend informed me that apparently S didn’t have the money to get himself treated at a good clinic/hospital. I asked my friend, why S didn’t take the mediclaim under company healthcare policy. Then I realized – he was paid on cash basis.

One of the sad parts of working in a domestic 3rd party BPO is that the salaries for employees can go really low, sometimes in the range of 5k-7k a month, which in a city like Mumbai is peanuts. When organizations hire employees at such low wages, they offer the employee the choice of getting the salary in cash or via normal payroll. When an employee chooses to get paid in cash, he does not have deductions like PF, PT and income tax. This way the employee gets more take home salary. However, getting paid in cash also means that the employee is not on the payroll of the organization and therefore, does not get benefits like PF and health care.

S couldn’t get himself treated because he couldn’t afford the treatment which made realize that there are so many people like S out there. In our daily lives, there is a lot of money which we spend on things which we don’t really need. Instead of spending that money, we can donate that money to a charity which will help people who cannot fend for themselves. May be such actions will make the world a better place to live in for all of us.

Kolkata – You Sexy!!

~ Akshay ~ Leave a comment

Last night I was watching the movie Kahaani on Movies OK channel. Since the movie is based out of Kolkata it brought back a lot of memories of the city in which I had spent almost 2 years. The movie just reminded of the times I had spent there, the places, smell, the sounds, the excitement of the people during the Durga Puja, old Ambassador cabs, kachoris, puchkas and moori from the road side, the momos and last but not least, people.

I moved to Kolkata in the year 2008 due to my work assignment. It was my first time to the City of Joy. I was told many things like Kolkata is very dirty, I wont like the food cooked in mustard oil, the language is a big challenge etc etc. However, I found my experience to the contrary.

Each city has it own different charm, Kolkata is no different. There are many old historic buildings in the bylanes of Kolkata, each one has its own story to tell. Most of the cabs are Ambassadors, vehicles of a bygone era, still driven with pride with the local taxi drivers. The language has a sweet sound to it. Just like French. Bengali is one of the sweetest languages out there. Initially, I had trouble understanding the same. But as my stay extended, I became familiar with the language to a point where I can make out the on-going conversation. The best part about Kolkata are its people, very friendly, very sweet and at the same time extremely proud of their culture, language and heritage. I am not sure if I could find anyone who had read the works of Tagore or had some form of training in Rabindra Sangeet.

It’s been 4 years since I have relocated to Mumbai. Hopefully, I will be going there sometime soon and rediscover the city once again.