The Teacher’s day speech from the movie 3 Idiots has to be the funniest dialogue of all times in a Hindi movie. It cracks me up every time I watch this movie. I remember watching this movie the first time in a theater and the first time I heard this speech I laughed till my stomach hurt. The dialogue delivery along with the facial expressions of the character, Chatur Ramalingam, are just too good. I don’t think anyone could have done it better. Hence I decided to post the transcript of the dialogue, along with the translation below and relive the moment.
Adarniya sabhapati mahodaya …atithi vishesh shikshan mantri shri R D
tripati ji ..maanyaniya shikshagan aur mere piyaaare sahpatiyo …aaj
agar I.C.E aasmaan ki bulaaandiyo ko chhu raahaa hai ..to uska
shreya sirrf ek insaan ko jaata hai Shri Veeru sahastra buddhe
..give him a a big hand ..he is a great guy really you are
Peechle buttis saal se inhone nirantar is college mein balatkar pe
balatkar kiye ………umeed hai aagey bee karte rahege ..hami to
aashcharya hota hai ki ek insaan apne jeevan kaal mein itni balatkar
kaisi kar sakta hai …….…inhone kadi tapaasya se aapne aapko is
kaabil bunaya hai ..waqt ka sahi upyog ghante ka purna istemaal koi
inse seeke ..seeke inse seeke ….
aaj hum sab chaatra yaha hai ..kal desh videsh mein fail jayenge
waadaa hai aapse jis desh mein honge waha balatkar karenge I.C.E ka
naam roshan karenge dikha denge sabko jo balatkar Karne ki
shamtaa yaha ke chaatro mein hai wo sansaar ke kisi chaatro mein
nahiii ….No other chaatra No other chaatra
Adarniya mantraji namashkar aapne is sansthaan ko wo chees di jiski
hamein sakht zaroorat thi …Stan ..stan hota sabi ke paas hai ..sab
chupa ke rakte hai ..detaa koi nai …aapne apna stan is balatkari
purush ke haat mein diya hai…ab dekiye yeh kaisa iska upyog karta hai
Is swarn awsar par ek shlok yaad aa rahe hai……uthmam dadddad
padam..Madhyam padam thuchchuk thuchchuk….kanistham thudthudiya
padam..sud sudi pran katakammm !!! aaaha
Welcome our Chief guest, the Minister of Education. Welcome our respected Mr. Chairman(Dean), and our respected teachers and schoolmates… The reason our school can be so successful is only one person’s contribution, Dr. Viru Sahhastrabuddhe! Give him a big hand… He’s a great guy really… For 32 years, he has been continuously raping (The original word chamatkar means ‘doing wonders’ whereas balatkar means ‘rape’) college students… We believe that he will continue that. It’s so astonishing that a man can rape so many students perfectly in his life! His perseverance must come from his practicing! He devoted every moment to raping! We should learn from him! The students here will soon be all over the world. Wherever we go, we will continue to rape! We will make I.C.E proud ! We will show everyone that our ability to rape is incomparable!
Good evening, Mr. Minister of Education. You gave us one thing that we need most… Breasts (The original word means funds). Everyone has boobs, but they all hide it… No one would generously give them to others! But you gave your boobs to this rapist… Now you’ll see how he uses of it!
(Verse) A loud fart is respectable… A medium fart is tolerable… A slight fart is fearful… A silent fart is unbearable…!