Author: Akshay

I am Akshay Varma, a Project Manager who likes writing, taking pictures, and listening to music. I am mainly work with projects in transition and onboarding of new client projects and business transformation. I like writing about current affairs and how they effect me, my personal life and anything and everything which comes to my mind. I like landscape and bird photography. Humans as photographic subject don't attract me :). This is a personal blog and thoughts written here are my own and do not reflect/ represent those of the organization(s) that I am with in professional or personal capacity.

Song in my head

~ Akshay ~ 1 Comment

As observed from my last two posts, I have been thinking about way too many things and have been feeling kind of depressed. Today I was going through my songs library and found this gem of a song and have been playing ever since. It is Stuck in a moment by U2. One of their best songs ever.

I’m not afraid
Of anything in this world
There’s nothing you can throw at me
That I haven’t already heard
I’m just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
‘Cause tears are going nowhere baby

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it’s tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don’t really need now
My, oh my

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You’ve got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant gt out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm ’til you discover how deep
I wasn’t jumping, for me it was a fall
It’s a long way down to nothing at all

You’ve got to get yourself together
You’ve got stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it
Don’t say that later will be better
Now you’re stuck in a moment
And you can’t get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won’t last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It’s just a moment
This time will pass

Dont feel like writing

~ Akshay ~ 3 Comments

I dont feel like writing anymore. I am just not in the right frame of mind to write. I have been thinking about a lot of things lately and have realized that I am probably just existing in my life not living it. As of right now, I am concerned about what the future holds for me. I hope that something positive comes out of this low phase.

Rickshaw pooling incident

~ Akshay ~ 1 Comment

Everyday while going to work, I go to the main road outside my complex and get a autorickshaw from there. The ricks are usually lined up one after the other picking up fares and going towards their destination. Yesterday when I reached the road, there were two ricks idly standing by, before I could approach them a lady approached the first rick. Assuming that it was already taken, I went to the 2nd rick and told him where I wanted to go. He agreed. The first rick was not interested in going where the lady wanted to go.. usually in the morning most people head towards Borivali station. I saw the lady, our eyes met, so I asked her if she was going towards station. She said yes, so we decided to rickshaw pool towards the station.

Today also the same thing happened, there was only one rick. I saw the same lady reach the rick before me. I anticipated that she would recognize me from yesterday and atleast ask if I was heading in the same direction as her.

The lady totally ignored me.

I was pissed off. But then luckily got another rick quickly and reached the station on time. Sometimes it is just too much to expect courtesy in return from people whom you have helped.

Feeling hot hot hot!!!

~ Akshay ~ 1 Comment

The last couple of days Mumbai actually feels like inside of an oven. It is very freaking hot. The temperature over the last few days has been hovering around 40C and it is only April. I wonder how things will be when we will be in the midst of May and summer is at its peak.

Incest

~ Akshay ~ 1 Comment

Lately, I have been reading a lot of news about father’s raping their daughters in India and also in other parts of the world. To be honest, it is pretty sick. I mean how come people do such things. Don’t they ever realize that it is their own child that they are killing? What about people who actually go through the entire trauma? I cant even imagine what they must have gone through. It is just sad to know such things are being practiced in this world.

H1B’s

~ Akshay ~ Leave a comment

I was going through an article on Businessweek regarding how stricter H1B laws are going to affect the US in the long run and how the program is actually a scam for replacing American jobs. To be very honest, I feel the latter is true.

3 years ago while I was in the US, applying for a job as a Business Analyst, I was contacted by a consulting company located in Herndon, VA. whose name I do not remember. They had invited me for an interview at their office. When I reached address provided, it turned out to be an apartment complex. As I entered the given apartment, I could see the living room lined up with about 5-6 workstations, 2 bedrooms occupied by 3-4 people. I was told that the living room served as a training center, where consultants are given training. I gave my resume to the interviewer. He went through it and asked me simple questions about C++ regarding pointers etc. He then called up a project manager who then asked me a few more questions which were even more simpler. Then the interviewer suggested that we change my resume a bit. I had sent him a soft copy earlier and he started modifying the same. He showed me my “modified” resume when he was done. I was shocked. He had added skills which I didnt possess. I told him, I don’t have the skills which you have mentioned here. He was like thats ok, we will train you for 30 days, provide you accommodation here and pay you $50K. I told him I needed time to think. After that, I never contacted that firm again.

I agree that H1B visas are abused. They not only displace American citizens but also lower the wage of existing work force. I am not saying this because I didn’t get a H1B, but because it is true. Instead of becoming the back-office of the world (somehow we are so proud of this), why cant we be the innovators? Why can’t we design the next generation of computers, airplanes etc? Why do companies like Wipro, TCS, Infosys depend so much on back-office work? I think with such attitude, we will never be a first world country.

Busy Bee and future plans

~ Akshay ~ 4 Comments

The last two and half weeks have been very busy for me. I have been juggling work, attending classes and writing stories. A lot of you may be aware that I have joined a Creative Writing Certification course at St. Xaviers College. The course will last for a period of 6 weeks with classes being conducted every Thursday from 6:30pm-8:30pm. The first two weeks have been really good. I am getting to know the different ways to write a story, how to creafte a scene, how to write a dialogue etc. My personal goal is to be able to write a short story by the end of this course. I am also thinking of joining Symbiosis for a Creative Writing course which lasts for a year. It all depends on what I am able to achieve in this course. I hope it goes well.

I am still expecting the results for CISA exam which I had given about 6 weeks ago. I was hoping that the results would have been out last week, but haven’t received anything in the mail. I am just hoping all turns out well.

The last two weeks, especially over the last week, I have undergone a lot of changes in terms of my behavior. For some reason unknown to me, I have become a lot more aggressive and get depressed equally soon. I don’t know what is bothering me so much. I know I have been thinking a lot lately about my career and personal life. I hope I get over this phase soon as I don’t really like myself this way and in the last couple of weeks may have ended up hurting a few people.

Mumbai Marathon

~ Akshay ~ 4 Comments

Warning Long Post

As you know from the previous post, I was running late for the Marathon. The train finally arrived at the CST station at 6:40am, just 4 minutes before the event starts. We got across the street and started to look for the holding area at Azad Maidan. To our surprise, we had to go all the way towards Metro station and then enter the grounds from Gate 3. By the time we got there, it was already 6:50am. I put on my number “5200”, gave my bag to Sid, who was of the opinion that we should carry our bags and run. Finally better sense prevailed and they decided to keep the bags at the counter. After giving them the bags, I decided to start running. As soon as I got near the start line, there were plenty of people still ahead of me, behind me, music playing loudly and a lot of people cheering us runners. Before I get going, I want to let you know that I have not practiced running since the time I have left Kolkata which is 6 months back. So anyways, I started running from CST at around 7:05am. Initially I was very much ok..reached Flora Fountain in like 2-3 mins, then the Pizzeria and then Trident, took a U turn from there and kept running until I got to Chowpatty. I decided to stop running and then walk for a few minutes since I felt I was getting tired. The lack of practice had started to show up. After walking for a few minutes, I ran until Kemps Corner flyover and then walked up the flyover.. started to run, going downhill. The footpaths were full of people cheering us on.. clapping for us. It really felt good. All these people taking time out of their normal Sunday morning, coming down and cheering common people like me running/ walking for a cause. I kept running until I reached Heera Panna, assuming that I will be going back very soon. I soon went past by Race Course and reached 10km mark. It was there that I realized I was cramping up big time. So I started stretching my legs and walked until flyover at the Atria Mall, turned around and started running. After 12km mark, every step that I was taking was actually amplifying my pain. With my legs cramped, I wanted to give up. I don’t know what kept me going. May be cheering of my friends, with whom I was in constant touch with, may it was my cousin who asked me not to give up or maybe it was me.. I dont know. On reaching the race course on my way back I started running and ran until I reach Pedder Road flyover. There again there were people who gave us Parle G biscuits and water. I had a couple of biscuits and got a few pats on my back and encouragement to keep running. I walked up the flyover and started to run on reaching the midway part and kept running until I hit Wilson College at Chowpatty. I think there I had breached the 16km mark. It was then that I realized that my body cannot take it anymore. I was very badly cramped up. I did a few stretches again and settled down at a chair where I was given an icepack. I kept the icepack on my legs for a couple of mins and started to walk again. The next 2.5kms were a mixture of walk, brisk walk and run in total agony. On reaching the 19km mark, I started to run again. A lot of people were telling, that it is just 2 more kms, you can do it. Finally on reaching the 20 km mark, I slowed down, kept running and finished at 10:15am. A total time of 3hrs 10 mins. I know it is not great.. but I am really proud of this feat.

I finally realized how much stress I had put my body under when I was standing to collect the certificate of participation. I could barely stand. I took my certificate and looked at it with a certain amount of pride and satisfaction. I know what I had endured to get that, the amount of pain I went through (still going through), the way I pushed myself to my limits.. so considering all this.. I was really happy.

On a side note, I don’t want this to sound like sour grapes.. I read a lot of news reports about the Marathon and almost all of them carried news about celebrities. I feel the Marathon should not about the celebrities who just come out to support or do whatever they are there to do. It should be about common people. While I was running, there was this 65+ yr old lady who was carrying the Indian flag and ran all the way through the half marathon. There was this girl, was extremely tired and exhausted, but kept going. This old uncle, who was way in his 70’s running the senior marathon. These are the stories which people need to be told, instead of flashing celebrities to sell the paper.

Azad Maiden at the end of the Marathon looked like a ‘Kachra Maiden’. There were so many orange peels, banana peels etc on the ground..people just throwing them anywhere instead of the garbage cans, which I didn’t see much of.

All in all it was an awesome event. I really enjoyed running the race and look forward to running it next year again.