Who should take a back seat?


Yesterday while leaving for home, I had a very interesting conversation with my colleague. We were both talking about the increasing hours we were putting in the office and how that leaves no time for him to do anything else. He happens to be married and his wife is also a working woman, who like him puts in long hours. He mentioned to his wife about starting a family, so his wife was like..”Kids, do we have time for that?”

I honestly believe that once you have kids, then it is very much necessary for one parent to be at home. In my colleague’s case, the question becomes very difficult, who should take a step back in their careers? I guess staying in the male oriented society, it is obvious to assume that a woman should stay back and take care of the kids. But I dont think thats right. I dont think it is right to assume that women would sacrifice her career once you have a child. Even in the US, I have observed that women take a back seat when it comes to kids. I have only heard of a few cases where the wife joins the office a week or two after the birth of the child, while the husband takes care of the kid.

I dont understand.. Why is it so hard for men to take a back seat in their careers? Is it the social stigma that comes from the male not working? Or is it just pure male ego? Or is it just that men are not good at bringing up a child? I dont know. But I do know that it is not right to expect the wife to take a back seat in her career, when it comes to starting a family.

12 thoughts on “Who should take a back seat?

  1. A thought provoking post once again 🙂I don’t have much to say right now…but agree with what you have mentioned…”it is obvious to assume that a woman should stay back and take care of the kids.”I suppose this all is cuz of male ego + socially not very accepted that the man is at home while the woman slogs at work…I have heard/read about few cases in which the father decides to take a back seat n be with the baby…but then its again a couple’s decision….Again the WHO will very much be dangling in-between….WO(or)MAN shud compromise with their career ….the decision is imp..BABY or JOB….some ppl say..”but all this money I’m earning is for the my baby’s future”….so …so …so…

  2. Akshay ur right…husbands should not EXPECT that wives should automatically be the carers of kids. Actually it should be shared between the parents. That way both get to spend equal time with their kids and kids get to know bot their parents equally well too.**I dont think it is right to assume that women would sacrifice her career once you have a child. true but I have a different view. I believe it’s actually a woman’s task. Sometimes we r too quick to fight for equal rights in these modern times. But is it even a question of one’s rights? Eventually it’s really what u want – good kids or career? Which one is ur priority. It’s for u to decide. If I ever become a mum, I know for sure I’d give up my career to be a f/t mum. I want good kids.Keshi.

  3. ME EXTREMELYYYYYYY LUCKY IN TAT CASE …….MY FIANCE IS WILLING 2 TAKE A BACKSEAT IN CASE I M MORE SUCCESSFUL IN R RESPECTIVE CAREERS 🙂

  4. that is just sooo debatable.. i guess we should chuck the gender battle out n just focus on who can b the best parent for the kid, n it all depends on the individuals not to b governed by any social fundapayal

  5. I believe… A woman makes a better parent and should take a back seat for some time……and it should all be planned…..Take the example of Kajol…Madhuri….Sushmita(An exception)… They are doing extremely well in their careers as well as personal lives…….When needed they took their deserved break…..Motherhood is sacred and should be enjoyed…..and I believe A mother is always a better parent than a Father in terms of nurturing and nourishing the kid……

  6. i agree with u. career n family are supposed to be equally imp. for a female..but the former comes to the fore for a male ! the society is no doubt male-dominated ! temme, how many women presidents has US had till date ? however, the world is changing.. women r coming up.. n even Men r able to expand n broaden their views. i’m positive for a better world.

  7. @Mehak, I cant really comment on this one, cause I sort of agree with what you have said here.@Wignes, Buhahah.. 🙂@Keshi, I dont think fathers cant raise their kids. I am sure there must have been cases where the children have been brought up by their fathers. But I agree with you, that it all comes down to good kids or career.

  8. @Nisha, Lucky you.@Payal, well you are absolutely right on this one.@Saaya, thanks for coming by.@Geeta, yea I agree with you that it should be planned. @Richa, yea me hoping for a positive, better world too.

  9. Stats Canada releases its report from time to time and this time there was a surprise. 25% of households where men and women are both working, women are the main income earners. Its not a huge number but its still a start. In 15% households in Canada, men are house-hubbies. In India, the problem is ego but if you are a mature man and are confident of yourself then you should have no problem in taking the backseat. If one’s wife is earning more or has better career prospect then she should be the one investing more time on career. Although, some women leave work because its their nurturing nature that wants them to take care of their child. In that case its a personal choice. Nice post. I came through Mehak. You have a nice blog out here. Keep on writing.

  10. yes fathers too can raise good kids. but what I mean is that mothers have always been the main caretaker…and it’s usually better that way 🙂Keshi.

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